In my quest to declutter my life, I went for a pamper spa day in Bloomfield Health and Leisure centre in order to detox my mind and body.
First up was a massage. I wrapped myself in my very fluffy robe and went into the treatment room. The very nice masseuse explained that I was to lie face down on the bed, over the patterned blanket but under the plain one. She then left for a moment to allow me to settle myself, which I duly did.
She came back into the room very quietly and explained that she was about to start.
"Have you anything on?" she inquired.
I had a moment's panic.
Do I say "Knickers" or is that too common?
How about "pants" or "underpants"? No, too masculine.
In the end I stuttered
"Just a pair of panties."
There was a moment's silence, followed by
"No, I mean, have you got a special occasion coming up?"
Needless to say, it took five minutes to get the massage started, as we were both in hysterics. At least she got a great story to tell her colleagues at lunchtime.
"Wait til ya hear what yer wan said to me today...."