Thursday, July 28, 2016
My boob job!
I went to my doctor who told me I had a "sebaceous cyst" right on my breast bone between my boobs.
Now it wasn't anything serious but he, himself wouldn't remove anything from the tip of the nose or the cleavage as they are very aesthetically sensitive areas. He recommended a very good plastic surgeon and as the procedure was medical, not cosmetic, it would be covered by my private health insurance.
Oh goody. Maybe while the surgeon is in there he could give me a quick nip and tuck and put it on the bill!!!
That is why this morning I found myself in the medical clinic all geared up for my "procedure". It would be done under local anesthetic and would only take ten minutes. I was dressed in a very fetching gown and cap and was brought down to the operating theatre.
I popped myself up on the table and lay down. There was a team of three nurses and the surgeon. I lay looking up at them as they talked in medical terms that I couldn't understand. The local anesthetic kicked in and the surgeon stood poised over me with the scalpel in his hand. From the right of me I heard the famous words
"I know your face from somewhere!"
"Yes, so do I. I'm wracking my brains to remember where from."
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me.
I said sheepishly
"Maybe it's from Operation Transformation?"
There were grasps of recognition and lots of "Oh I love that programme!"
My surgeon smiled and said
"Oh, a celebrity on my table. Now I'm under pressure!"
WORDS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUR SURGEON WHILE HE'S STANDING OVER YOU WITH A SCALPEL IN HIS HANDS!!!
And so I had the "Operation Transformation" question and answer session with them while they proceeded to cut me open, remove a tiny bit of me and then stitch me up again!
It was all done and dusted in the ten minutes and they helped me off the table, told me it was great to see me and that they couldn't wait to get home to tell their family and friends that they had met me.
I left the clinic thinking
"Did that just happen?"