Monday, September 1, 2014

It's electrifying!

This is a true story told to me by my hairdresser,as told to her by one of her clients.
Names have been changed to save their reputation.
Mary's son was heading off to Electric Picnic festival for the first time. Being the caring Irish mammy that she is, Mary put on the grill to cook a full Irish breakfast - sausages, rashers, black and white pudding etc. After all the poor devil wouldn't get another proper bite to eat for the weekend.
She took off the grill and placed it on the kitchen counter. She filled the kettle and was waiting for it to boil. After a few minutes she sniffed the air.
"What's that burning smell?"
She looked around but couldn't see the source of it. It was definitely getting worse.
She lifted the grill and there, slowly shriveling up was...........
HIS LAMINATED ELECTRIC PICNIC TICKET!
Her whole life flashed before her eyes. She screeched for her husband.
"You tell him. I can't!"
"But it's your fault. You tell him."
They could hear him walking around upstairs, packing away and whistling a happy tune.
She ran out the backdoor and ran down the garden to hide.
Her maternal instinct took over. Luckily she had brought her phone with her. She rang Ticketmaster and managed to get her story out in between hysterical sobs.
"Don't panic Missus. Did you book it by credit card?"
"I did."
"Great. We have a record of it and can reissue it to you."
"Brilliant", she screamed. "Where can I get it?"
"From the shop you bought it from."
Luckily she had bought it in Mullingar.

They drove in silence to town. She said that she could feel  his eyes of hatred burning two holes in the back of her neck. Ticket was retrieved and he set off with his friends. As he left, she uttered the typical Irish Mammy's  apology.
"Why the fuck did you leave it there in the first place?"

3 comments:

  1. In late Coach Outlet Purses On Clearance June 2017, I went to southern Texas to get a closer look at the border. I started in the town of McAllen, where so many immigrants end up after crossing the river. While there I hoped to get a good sense of the town and its people, but Coach Outlet Online 80 OFF as I explored, it didn't feel like I was even in the United States; almost all the radio stations were in Spanish, and most restaurants were Latino.

    Of the first ten Archbishops of Canterbury after the Norman conquest, we have no guesses on the birth years Cheap Air Forces of two, three have known birth years, and the other seven are estimated. Of the eight whose birth years are known or estimated, the average Jordan Shoe Stores age at death is 67, but one of these, Thomas Becket, was murdered at age MK Outlet Online 52. Not including him, the age was 69.

    That tepid, neither here nor there measure, implemented in February 2015, made it legal for anyone 21 or older to possess up to two ounces of marijuana. You can grow as many as six plants. And you can "transfer" without payment up to an ounce of weed to another adult..

    Le couple admet qu'au bout du compte, il a pay pour quatre murs, une fosse septique, mais surtout un emplacement. On a mis 1600heures de travail. On a tout Cheap Nike Air Force 1 refait, les planchers, la plomberie, le toit, etc. To do that, your doctor will need to watch what happens to Coach Outlet Clearance Sale your blood sugar after you fast for a day to two. You may need to stay MK Outlet Sale in the hospital during this time, and you won't be able to eat or drink anything except water. Your doctor will test your blood to see if you have both low blood sugar and a high insulin level.

    ReplyDelete