Sunday, September 22, 2013

It's an Irish thing!

I apologise in advance to all my non-Irish readers who will not get the absolute blasphemy of this comment.
My niece, Emma works in RTE, our national broadcasting station. During the week she was asked
"Emma, will you work on "Up for the Match" on Saturday night?"
"Sure. But what match?"

I swear, that was her reply. As we speak, her work contract/passport/citizenship are being revoked!

Saturday, September 21, 2013

A ticket to ride

We had a great day at our friend Susie's marriage to JP.

Being the responsible person that I am, I stayed in my friend Fiona's place last night.
I didn't leave any rings behind me this time!
The next day I took a taxi from town back to the hotel to pick up my car. I wasn't in the mood for chatting so I was hoping I'd get a silent cabbie.

No such luck.
He started off by commenting on the unusually fine weather we are experiencing at the moment.
Great. An optimist.
He then went on to comment on another bit of good news. It seems that this little old country of ours is getting out of recession. It seems that on the international market, while we may not yet be in "the positive" we are "less negative "than we used to be.
And this is good because......?
By this stage he was in his stride and waxed lyrical about the reasons why the Celtic Tiger went bust.
"The Irish could cope with the Famine, but we couldn't cope with the feast."
By this time I was intrigued and wanted to know his opinion on our politicians and what should become of them.
 He said that he had watched the interview that ex-Taoiseach Brian Cowen had given, in which he did not admit to any misdemeanours but that he "had merely taken his eye off the ball". There was nothing he could be arrested for.
"Apart from being a gobshite," I proposed "but if one could be arrested for that, the prisons of Ireland would be bursting at the seams."

By this time we had arrived at the hotel and Roxy was sitting in the carpark waiting for me.
"Oh feck, I forgot to put on the meter I was so busy talking," he said. "Listen. It's the best chat I had in ages. It's on the house."

I skipped back to the car. Maybe this country will recover afterall.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts....

I remember reading somewhere that when a cat loves you, it will bring you a lovely present, like a half eaten mouse or a headless rat.
My brother and his wife are in Turkey at the moment.
Well, I suppose they have to use their apartment sometime!
I volunteered to feed their cat Tom while they are away. Marese left very precise instructions about how he was to be fed.
"Cover the bottom of the bowl with cat nuts and then open the pouch of food and squeeze it over them. Fresh water can be found in the outside tap."

I obviously have been doing a FABULOUS job, because today when I went to the area of the shed where I leave his food, there waiting for me was.......
I'd say Marese heard me scream in Turkey. I know Tom meant well, but I'm sure I've told him before that I have a phobia about birds.
God bless modern technology. I "vibered" Marese to tell her the story, she texted her neighbour Tim, who came over and removed the offending object, and I got to feed Tom.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The new Maeve Bitchy!

I am soooooo excited, proud, delighted.
Any of those adjectives.
My sister-in-law Marese is on holidays in Turkey and she just sent me this photo of my article which has been published in this month's Hello Alanya!
While I was on holidays there during the summer the editor of the magazine got in contact with me. She had seen my blog about my holidays in Mahmutlar and asked me if I would write an article for them.
Is the pope a Catholic???
I jumped at the chance.
Basically it is about my experiences as an Irish woman holidaying in Turkey.

So here is the photo that Marese sent me of my first published work.

Happy, happy, happy!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Emmerdale Street.

My brain being frazzled after a day's teaching, I spend my evenings lounging on the couch watching the Soaps. I am enjoying the very similar murder storylines in both Emmerdale and Coronation Street at the moment.
However, am I just terribly stupid, or is anyone else totally confused by the fact that the main characters involved in both programmes are played by almost identical real life brothers?
Adam Barton in Emmerdale.
Jason Grimshaw in Coronation Street.

In the middle of a scene I find myself saying
"Hang on a minute. Is this Emmerdale or Coronation Street I'm watching?"

Friday, September 13, 2013

Hard Times.

I know teachers are finding times tough after Croke Park Agreement, but I didn't realise that some of us are resorting to double-jobbing.

An Infant went home to his Mammy. She asked the usual question.
"How did you get on today at school?"
"Our teacher was out sick."
"Oh, so what did you do?"
"It was okay. We had a prostitute teacher instead."
Erm, I think/hope he meant "substitute!"

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The silent b

I got this story from a friend of mine who teaches 7 year olds in another school.
She was teaching phonics and they were looking at words that had a "silent b". She came to the word "plumber" and after much discussion the children understood it. She then asked the fatal question
"And does anyone know someone who is a plumber?"
Blank faces stared back at her. Suddenly one little boy's face lit up with delight.
"I do, Miss. The fella who is living with Granny at the moment is a plumber."

AT THE MOMENT??? Just how many men does Granny go through? And can she please tell me where she gets them, PLEASE!!!