Sunday, November 25, 2012

Photographic Memory

I was reminded of this story over the weekend.
It happened about 15 years ago. I was out of a Saturday night in a local nightclub/den of iniquity! It was back in the days of yore when men actually asked women out to dance.
Oh yes, my younger readers. There was a time when brave men ventured across a dance floor and asked the fairer sex to dance.
When I think of it now I realise how soul destroying it must have been to be rejected with the immortal words
"Ask me friend. I'm sweatin'"
I obviously had a conscience back then as well, as I never refused anyone a dance, unless they were VERY drunk.
This one particular night I espied a young fella swerving his way towards me, very clearly the worst for wear.
Ah God NO! Please don't ask me. Sometimes I wonder do I deserve the men I attract!!!
Unfortunately I was his intended victim.
"Will ya danse....?" he slurred into my face.
"Thanks very much, but I think I'll sit this one out?"
"Ah why not? It won't harm you to have one danccce." Belch
"Honestly, thanks, but no thanks."
I really had no desire to hold him up on the dance floor as he had lost most of his motor coordination by this stage.
"Give me a proper reason why ya won't dance and I'll leave ya alone," he promised.
"Well it's like this Michael...
I could never have forgotten those eyelashes, you could have hung buckets on them!
You go home and look at your First Holy Communion photo, and then look at your teacher in the background......
Realisation dawned on him
"Miss LYNAM???? Is that you?
"Yes it is Michael"
Now go away and I'll talk to you sometime when you're sober.
Moment of silence
"But will ya dance???"

13 comments:

  1. eh hem miss noeleen i thought you're a teacher, check how you spelled dance on the 17th line :)

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  2. yep i TOTALLY agree with the top comment BTW it is impossible to say irish wristwatch fast ....................................................................................................................................................................................BET YA U JUST SAID IT 2 C WAT HAPPENS

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  3. But it was deliberatley written incorrectly to indicate the fact that he was slurring his words!!!! :)

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  4. Now "deliberatly" was spell incorrectly by accident!

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  5. excuses excuses notice in how all the other times yourman said dance it was spelled correctly but in this particular question its not !!! oh btw lets c if u can figure out this maths question : (x+3)(x-5)

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