I can't believe that it was about this time eight years ago that I returned from Abu Dhabi with a solitary suitcase of clothes. Over the following years those meagre clothes managed to increase and mutate until they eventually took over my house. Tops and dresses in the wardrobe in my room; trousers and skirts in the one in the guest room; coats and jackets in the spare room; handbags taking over the cupboard in the hall; overspill housed up in the attic. I suddenly realised that I was living in a wardrobe that happened to have a kitchen, merely because it came with the house.
Despite this excess I still suffer from every woman's nightmare
I can't go. I have nothing to wear!
So my project over this bank holiday weekend was to channel my inner Gok and declutter all the recently unworn clothes from my life. I had a major moment of guilt when I counted my dresses.
Yes, you read that properly. I had a grand total of 72 dresses, ranging from summer dresses to ballgowns. And might I add, ranging in size from 10 to 14.
There may even have been an odd size 16 in there, but I had cut the labels off.
Obviously, testimony to my career as a serial yo yo dieter.
I was ruthless in my culling. Anything that I hadn't worn in the past two years was thrown out.
No Noeleen. It doesn't fit you. And if you ever do manage to diet back into it, it will be soooo out of fashion.
Many many hours later I had five refuse sacks full of unwanted clothes, ready for St. Vincent de Paul.
Gosh, he'll be so on trend!
I still have clothes in three wardrobes, but they are no longer squashed in. In fact they are colour coded, ranging from brights to darks. I can actually see what's in there and have an outfit fully co-ordinated in seconds!
It was then that I took stock of the now defunct hangers that had been ruthlessly stripped of their clothing.
Mental note to self.
The next time I buy something and the nice shop assistant asks
"And does Madam want to keep the hanger?"
The correct answer is
"NO THANKS! I think I have may have some lying around somewhere!"