Monday, May 7, 2012

Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day

Saturday evening was spent mowing my lawn.
God, is it that time of the year again!
I was halfway through it, when the rain started to fall. I had to abandon ship.
Sunday morning lived up to its name and so I went out to finish the job. As I was almost finished I espied my neighbour coming out to hang out her washing. Mary is the loveliest little old lady that you could ever meet. I stopped the lawnmower so we could have a chat.
"Oh, dear. I'm all confused with it being a Bank Holiday weekend," she started. "I had the washing done when I realised that it was the Sabbath day and here I am hanging out the clothes."
I cast a guilty glance at my lawnmower.
"Well, it's like this Mary. If we end up in Hell, I hope it's for something a damn sight more decadent than mowing the lawn or hanging out clothes on a Sunday. Anyway, it's all God's fault."
"Oh God bless us and save us. Why do you say that?"
"Well, He caused it to rain yesterday so I couldn't finish the job on time. So if  He didn't want me to break the Sabbath he should have either
a) kept the sun shining
b) sent me a fine strapping man to do the job for me.
And God, if you're listening, can you make it the latter, pleeeeease!