Sales time! I headed up to Dublin with Mam and my sister Geraldine.Shopping is hard work so I was queueing up for dinner in the Arnotts' cafe.
There was a man in front of me in the queue. He was in his thirties, very sensibly dressed in a Daniel O'Donnellesque outfit of sweater and trousers.
As I said, the queue was moving slowly so I had plenty of time to people watch!
We had come to the end of the counter where the tea and coffee machines were. We were stopped once again as there was another dilema at the cash register. Someone else didn't have enough cash to pay for their dinner and couldn't use their card.
A lady of about sixty came up to the machine in front of Mr. Sensible and asked nicely
"Excuse me, can I just get some boiling water in this teapot?"
"NO!" came the boomimg reply.
I did a double take. I surmised that they knew each other and he was winding her up.
"I'm sorry," she stuttered. "But I'm not jumping the queue. I'm coming from the floor and I'm just getting a refill. I won't delay you."
"I DON'T CARE", he bellowed. "YOU'RE NOT GETTING IN FRONT OF ME. THIS IS A QUEUE."
I then realised that he was actually serious. I couldn't for the life of me work out why he was objecting. Firstly she wouldn't have to pay for the water, so she wouldn't take anyone's place in line at the cash register.
Secondly, we were going nowhere at the time whereas she would be able to just walk back to her table.
Don't get me wrong. I'm no Mother Theresa. If someone had tried to jump the queue in front of me and delay me even further, I would have torn into them. But this lady was NOT going to delay us one second. She was going to be in and out like a gorilla in the mist.
She got all flustered and didn't know what to do. I nodded at her to step in front of me to fill her teapot. She promptly did so, thanked me and returned to her seat. We moved onto the cash register, undelayed by the lady's request.
As I was going to my table to join Mam and Ger I passed Mr. Sensible sitting down at a table with a woman whom I presumed was his mother, as she was the same age as the lady he had just berated. She was smiling at him and thanking him for getting her meal. She was probably thinking
What a wonderful son I've reared. Such a gentleman.
Such a scumbag, more likely.