Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Not the look I was going for!

My favourite thing to do in Turkey is to have a  Turkish Bath. I headed to "European Beauty" for one the other day. I had been out til stupid o'clock the previous night so I was a tad tired.
First of all I was brought into the steam room which is decorated to look like a cavern. I was placed on a marble slab, pillow under my head, and left to cook for a while. I could feel myself nodding off. Luckily my masseuse arrived back before my snoring started to reverberate around the walls.
I felt like a participant in "Embarrasing Bodies" as I pointed to my mosquito bites. He looked at them quizzically and asked
"I do light?"
"Oh, very light light!" I replied.
He proceeded to scrub my skin,bites and all, with what can only be described as a brillo pad! As I can't bathe in the sun I have been using Dove Holiday Sun to mimic what I should be like. I could see little brown rivelets of water cascade down the side of the slab.
I guess that's the end of that bit of colour!
I definately weighed a kilo lighter after it, I lost that much skin. But boy was I tingling!


Next cycle in the wash, is the foam. Pillows of bubbles are caressed up and down your body. Then you are lightly massaged.
There were definately a few zzzzz during that time!
After being washed down I was brought to a relaxation room to lie down and drink apple tea.
Zzzzzzz
"Madam!"
"Wha' Huh?" I was awoken by a call.
"Time for your next treatment."
I think I slept walked into the room.
I lay face down on the bed and was massaged within an inch of my life. Maybe its the swimming but my muscles objected strongly. But once again, when he was finished I was like a rubber band.
Time for my face mask. Some special mud from the sea
or maybe just from out the back garden!
Anyway, this green mud was painted on and I was left again to relax.
Zzzzzz
"MADAM!"
Oh damn, time to wake again.
I was brought back to the relaxation room where, yes you've guessed it
Zzzzzzzz
"MADAM, time to remove your mask."
Oh just a few more minutes please?
Green gunge was removed and I was ready for home. I'd say my masseuse was sorry that he didn't just leave me lying on the slab for the two hours and then call me and say it was finished!
I walked, nay I floated out of the place. Every pore in my body was cleansed and every muscle had been pummelled into submission. My skin was glowing, if INCREDIBLY white. I was trying to think of suitable words to describe it.
Transulent?
Alabastar?
Etheral?
I got my answer as I passed by  Foleys on the way home.Adam took one look at me and said
"Oh, now you look like raw chicken!"

Yep, that is the shade I resemble!!!

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