Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Location, location, location

"What was the weather like in Turkey?"
"Well, it spilled rain for the first day, but then it took up. A lovely 21 degrees."
"Oh, it was like that in Ireland. You would have been as well off staying at home."
Are you serious?

Date: Monday 25th April
Temperature: 21 degrees
Location: By the pool in Turkey
Activities: Relaxing, reading, listening to ipod, contemplating if it was vodka o'clock yet.

Date: Monday 3rd May
Temperature; Also 21 degrees
Location: Garden in Riverdale
Activities: Pulling weeds, manicuring oops I mean descimating the hedge, mowing the grass/moss/dandelions.

It's my own fault.
Firstly, in order to get planning permission in Raharney, your site has to be at least 1/2 acre. My house is no mansion, which means that there is way too much lawn area. When I first moved in, it was the start of my new life, which included a Get-Fit/ Bootcamp regeme. I decided not to get a ride-on lawnmower as "the exercise" of  pushing a mower up and down, up and down, up and down...........would be as good as any gym workout. However, the gym you can give up if you are not in the mood. The feckin' lawn demands to be cut or else I'd need a briar hook to see out the window.
As if that wasn't bad enough, I fought to keep the natural hedge in front of my house. As a child I had seen a programme about the hedgerows of Ireland. It showed how the destruction of one hedge wiped out entire ecosystems. I was determined to do my bit to save the planet.
Boy am I sorry now.
The hedge and I are in constant battle. All I did was to go away for a measly ten days and when I returned the hedge had used the opportunity to take over half the lawn.
So there I was, strimming away, while my neighbour raced up and down his lawn on his ride on mower.
Jealous, me?
And to add insult to injury, that cute little bird that nestled in the hedge, well every morning it stares at itself in Roxy's mirror......and shits all down her door. I have to clean it off before I head to school. And this has been going on for the past three years!

*Posed by models.......it's only a little Blue Tit for God's sake!

Does anyone know the number of a good tarmacadamer?
When I eventually managed to get to sit down, I poured myself a cool beer, stared out the window at the setting sun and thought
Feck, those dam windows need washing.
So NO!!!! 21 degrees does not mean the same thing in every location.