Friday, November 26, 2010

Perfect boyfriend material.

During Maths class I espied R passing a note to C, the girl who was sitting beside him. Being quite sure that it wasn't about their school work, I demanded
"C, bring that note up here please."
Bless her. She looked horrified
Sure enough there were numbers on the paper but they had nothing to do with equivalent fractions!
"What is this?"
"R was giving me his phone number."
It was R's turn to look horrified and his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish chewing a chili.
Ah, a first crush.
"Now R do you really think it appropriate to dish out your phone number to girls during Maths class?"
I was having a Sue Sylvester moment.
There was a collective Woooo-weee from the rest of the class.
At home time D, a classmate, was teasing R. I decided it was time to stand up for him.
"Now D, are you jealous that you didn't give out your number?"
D flashed me a Justin Beiberesque grin and said
"No Miss. I don't give out my number, I get numbers!!"
And I bet the little fecker does!!!
D has it all.
1. He is top of the class in all subjects, without even trying.
2. He is oozing confidence.
3. He has a brilliant sense of humour (well he has My sense of humour, so Ithink he's hilarious). He is the life and soul of every drama class.
4. He is ultra a One Direction sort of way.
So I want to send out some advice to all the future girls/women (depending on how far into the future we're talking) who will be crying into their cokes/vodkas and diet cokes over him.
Listen up. The reason he has not returned your text/call is not because
A. He is out of credit. He'll be in his 30's. He have Bill-Pay by then!
B. He is waiting for you to call him.....AGAIN.
C. He has lost his dialling finger in a shark-diving accident.
It's because he's just not-that-into-you!
And I apologise in advance that I did not manage to mould him into perfect caring, sensitive boyfriend material.
But in my defense, he did not come under my influence until he was 11 years old. By which time it was too late!!

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