Friday, November 19, 2010

Operation Devious Bitches

It's so hard to keep a secret, even a nice one!
My sister Jacqueline's milestone birthday is coming up.
I won't spill the beans, but I'm the youngest in the family and I've already had my 40th.
Jacqueline didn't want a party and decided to head to the sun for a holiday instead. I can appreciate that. However the occasion couldn't go unmarked.
Her friend Janet set about planning a surprise birthday dinner. The furtive phone calls started flying back and forth.
When all your friends and family are avoiding you and won't answer or return your phone calls, it probably is because they are planning a surprise party for you and are afraid they will inadvertly spill the beans.
Or it might be because you really are a Norma Naymates. Live with it!
B-Day arrived. I headed off to my hairdressers with a cut-out picture from a magazine in one hand and a clump of hair in the other.
"Can you make me look like that?"
The woman is a miracle worker.

Mam, Marese and I headed off in plenty of time. Everyone was to be in situ in plenty of time to avoid bumping into Sis as she was lured into the restaurant under some false pretences. Of course Murphy's Law came into play. We were on the way to Kinnegad when we met a car who flashed us to stop. It was Glenn, our niece's husband. The road was closed up further near the railway crossing due to an accident. Quick handbrake turn a la The Dukes of Hazzards. On the alternative route we were stopped in a line of traffic at another railway crossing. Had a horrible thought that there was a problem on the line.
I know, I know, it would have been devastating if there had been a train crash, but all we were worried about was getting to the party on time.
Aside: There wasn't.
Mam hopped out of the back of the car before we could stop her, checking if she could hear a train in the distance. She went back to the car behind us and started chatting to them. Suddenly the barriers went up and the cars took off. No sign of Mother to come back. There was a brief moment when Marese and I were tempted to speed off too......but we did wait for her return!
We got there on time.
Twenty two women were gathered to await the birthday girl. The following plans confirm just how good liars women can be.
Operation Devious Bitches.
1.Thursday night is Jacqueline's bingo night so she thought she was going there as usual with Betty.
2. Jacqueline was due to get her hair done on Wednesday. Her hairdresser was contacted and told to tell her that the only appointment available was on Thursday, so at least her hair would be done.
3. Her daughter Michelle had to raid her mother's wardrobe and bring a change of clothes for her to the restaurant, just in case she rushed out in a pair of paint-splashed tracksuit bottoms!
4. Betty said that her daughter had been in the Italian restaurant that day, had left her appointment book behind her and they had to pop in to collect it.
5.Meanwhile Betty's husband was primed to ring her exactly 12 minutes after they had left the house. This coincided with them pulling up outside the restaurant.
6. Betty pretended it was her son calling from Australia. Jacqueline, being such a thoughtful friend, didn't want to interrupt such a touching moment, said
"I'll go in for it."
Everything went like a dream. Then disaster almost struck.
Us twenty two women were so excited inside, we were chatting and not passing any remarks on the reception area. Jacqueline had come in and was at the reception desk.
"Good evening. I've come to collect an appointment book."
The man looked very perturbed. He wasn't in on that part of the surprise.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what you are talking about."
"An appointment book was left here today. I was told it would be here."
The man looked all around the desk.
"I'm really sorry. There is nothing here."
Jac was beginning to get annoyed, thinking that she would miss her bingo!
Luckily Janet spotted her and went running out.
"Hi Jacqueline. I'm here with a few friends. Come in for a quick drink."
She grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the dining area.
"Janet don't be silly. I can't. I'll be late for bin.........."

To say that she got a shock is an understatement!

An hour later, still shocked!

At one stage I honestly thought she was going to have a heart attack.......and all that planning would have been in vain!
There were tears (of happiness, I hope).

Jacqueline and other sister Geraldine

A brilliant night was had by all.

Jacqueline and Mam

Happy birthday Jacqueline. Can't wait for the next one xxx

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