Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Then came the Big Freeze of 2010! This resulted in a frozen washing machine, lack of water and mounds of clothes forming on the floor.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Ice free bins YESSSSSSSS
And if you think I'm overreacting now, just wait til I get a toilet that flushes automatically rather that having to manually fill the cistern with water from a bucket circa 1930!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
My post op visit was due today...and it was in that very area.I was stressed out, worrying that I wouldn't get back there today and so I would be left with this cursed bandage contact in my eye all over Christmas, and it'd be in so long it'd get infected and then I'd lose my eye...
Okay, so I'm a major drama queen!
Thanks to my FABULOUS sister Jacqueline for driving me there through the blinding snow. In fact we were an hour early! The fact that no one made it through the blizzard (or was mad enough to even try!) meant I was taken straight away.
My doctor told me I had fabulous healing powers
Maybe I can get a job as a psychic healer, if they keep cutting my teacher's wages!
He peeled off my contact with a tweezers (ouch) and off we set home.
You would think my worrying would be over...but no.
Reason to panic #2
Roxy has been parked outside my sister's house for the past five nights. She has never been idle for that length of time. What if she was frozen over and would never budge again???
You do realise that I am talking about my car ....and not my aforementioned FABULOUS sister!!
So off we set for home. You would think at this stage I'd be ecstatic at returning home. But no.
Reason to panic #3
I haven't been in my house for the past five nights. During that time there have been record low temperatures of -15 degrees. Even though I had my heating on a timer I began to panic that pipes had burst, water tank had come crashing from the attic and a glacier of ice would meet me on my return at the front door.
Thankfully none of these happened.
This time two weeks ago I was climbing the walls because I was stuck in my house because of the bad weather and couldn't wait to get out of my humble abode. Tonight I am sprawled on the couch inn front of a blazing fire, ever so thankful for my gorgeous, fully-functioning house. I think I deserve a Baileys-on-ice seeing as I had no birthday celebrations.
Oh Damien,by the way I hope you got home....in less than five hours
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
How "creative" of me!
The story had to be written from the viewpoint of one of the animals in the stable. I tried to stress that as an animal you would not understand what was going an. Also, if you were a smaller creature you would be looking at things from a completely different angle. So to help us, we took a moment to place ourselves in our animal's body and imagine the sights, sounds and smells that we would experience.
R took his assignment very seriously. He imagined that he was a little mouse, peering out from under the straw.
His opening line was
"Push, Mary, Push!"
Classic. I didn't have to read any further to award him an A+ for his work!
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I got out and about without taking my life in my hands. I headed up to my sister-in-law's house. She was busy making the Christmas pudding. Tradition meant that I just had to make a wish while giving it a stir!
Mmm, let me think, what shall I wish for??? A handsome man that won't answer back or run away!
Later that night we had our traditional Christmas night out. As I said before, out family is very loaded towards the female side. So my mum and her three sisters, their daughters and now it includes the next generation of daughters, all meet up for a good old night out. Unfortunately this year because of the appalling weather conditions, not everyone could make it. The stalwarts braved the elements.
We met up in The Greville Arms. It being X-Factor final night, there was a great buzz around the place, seeing as Niall Horan from One Direction is a Mullingar boy! It's incredible that this time last year he was taking part in Mullingar's Stars in their Eyes, but this year he is in the final of the largest TV show on the planet, under Simon Cowell's influential wings.
And that was when I met my perfect man.....
Many, many years ago when we were teenagers, I had a crush on.......Niall's dad! I swear! Same cheeky grin.
This is SO wrong on SO many levels. I guess it's back to the pudding bowl for another wish!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Jacqueline then decided to throw her shoes in the direction from where the noise came, but the mouse still kept on scraping. Finally Jacqueline decided to get out and turn on the light. After stumbling over shoes she managed to reach the light switch. No mouse could be seen. Jacqueline raced back into bed. The noise stopped and we all stayed quiet.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
This time last week my main concerns were (in no particular order) the economic bailout, my pending eye surgery and who would be kicked off the X-Factor.
Now that I am on Day 4 of snow-induced imprisonment my outlook on life has changed.
1. No point worrying about the IMF. Hey, there's a budget next week. Then its time to panic!
2. My reality TV viewing now consists of watching people eat vile things like eyeballs and kangaroo penis.
How many times have I felt like screaming "I'm not a Celebrity, but get me out of here anyway!"
3. My eye will have to wait for two weeks to be fixed. Another casualty of the snow.
Today I couldn't take it anymore so Roxy and I ventured out on the ice. We made it as far as my Mum who lives on the other side of the village. It was great to have face-to-face contact with another human being, as opposed to Facebook contact.
Seeing as we made it that far, we ventured as far as Tesco's in Kinnegad.
You would think that food would be my main priority but as I said, things have changed.
The main concern in my life has become Christmas tree lights. Sitting looking at my naked tree was driving me mad.
God, I definitely need to get out more often!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Not good role models for todays girls.
Also her choice of names would raise more than a snigger in a modern day classroom. There was Dick (whose surname should have been Head!) and if I recall correctly, there was an Aunt Fanny in there somewhere! I certainly wouldn't attempt to read that aloud in class.
I was faced with my own mystery today and could have done with their help.
I am on Day 3 of being snowbound in my house and slowly going mad due to cabin fever. What does one do when there is nothing left to clean?
Ah ha! Christmas tree decorating time!
I braved the elements and went up to the attic. When I opened the door, the artic conditions nearly took my breath away.
First down were Santa and Rudolf.
When I was finished decorating the sitting room, I put on a CD of Josh Groban singing Christmas carols, poured myself a Baileys and ice, sat back and gazed at my (lightless) Christmas tree.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Though, if Niall Horan of One Direction continues to do so well in The X-Factor, he may take over.
His statue (Joe's not Niall's) took pride of place in the Market Square. It was quite the tourist attraction, on a par with the Eiffel Tower in Paris! One just had to get one's photo taken on the podium with him.
Soon after the statue was removed altogether. Now, I'm not saying there was any connection between these two events!
The podium remained empty .....until this week. Joe, in his signature white suit, mysteriously reappeared overnight, taking his rightful place on his podium.
In a week that brought us to the brink of economic ruin (and we damn well nearly brought the rest of the world with us) it's heartening to see that as a nation we haven't lost our sense of humour!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
How do you know when its the right time to change your facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship"?
Charlie and I met through my sister Jacqueline. Being perfectly honest I didn't find him at all attractive at first. But then his caring and loyal ways won me over. It's the little things, like the way he will fetch things for me, that make him stand out from all the others. He's not one for pubs or nightclubs, preferring long autumnal walks along the canal. He is my best friend. There is only one drawback in our otherwise perfect relationship.
He's a lousy kisser.............
What's a girl to do???????
Friday, November 19, 2010
My sister Jacqueline's milestone birthday is coming up.
I won't spill the beans, but I'm the youngest in the family and I've already had my 40th.
Jacqueline didn't want a party and decided to head to the sun for a holiday instead. I can appreciate that. However the occasion couldn't go unmarked.
Her friend Janet set about planning a surprise birthday dinner. The furtive phone calls started flying back and forth.
When all your friends and family are avoiding you and won't answer or return your phone calls, it probably is because they are planning a surprise party for you and are afraid they will inadvertly spill the beans.
Or it might be because you really are a Norma Naymates. Live with it!
B-Day arrived. I headed off to my hairdressers with a cut-out picture from a magazine in one hand and a clump of hair in the other.
"Can you make me look like that?"
The woman is a miracle worker.
Mam, Marese and I headed off in plenty of time. Everyone was to be in situ in plenty of time to avoid bumping into Sis as she was lured into the restaurant under some false pretences. Of course Murphy's Law came into play. We were on the way to Kinnegad when we met a car who flashed us to stop. It was Glenn, our niece's husband. The road was closed up further near the railway crossing due to an accident. Quick handbrake turn a la The Dukes of Hazzards. On the alternative route we were stopped in a line of traffic at another railway crossing. Had a horrible thought that there was a problem on the line.
I know, I know, it would have been devastating if there had been a train crash, but all we were worried about was getting to the party on time.
Aside: There wasn't.
Mam hopped out of the back of the car before we could stop her, checking if she could hear a train in the distance. She went back to the car behind us and started chatting to them. Suddenly the barriers went up and the cars took off. No sign of Mother to come back. There was a brief moment when Marese and I were tempted to speed off too......but we did wait for her return!
We got there on time.
Twenty two women were gathered to await the birthday girl. The following plans confirm just how good liars women can be.
Operation Devious Bitches.
1.Thursday night is Jacqueline's bingo night so she thought she was going there as usual with Betty.
2. Jacqueline was due to get her hair done on Wednesday. Her hairdresser was contacted and told to tell her that the only appointment available was on Thursday, so at least her hair would be done.
3. Her daughter Michelle had to raid her mother's wardrobe and bring a change of clothes for her to the restaurant, just in case she rushed out in a pair of paint-splashed tracksuit bottoms!
4. Betty said that her daughter had been in the Italian restaurant that day, had left her appointment book behind her and they had to pop in to collect it.
5.Meanwhile Betty's husband was primed to ring her exactly 12 minutes after they had left the house. This coincided with them pulling up outside the restaurant.
6. Betty pretended it was her son calling from Australia. Jacqueline, being such a thoughtful friend, didn't want to interrupt such a touching moment, said
"I'll go in for it."
Everything went like a dream. Then disaster almost struck.
Us twenty two women were so excited inside, we were chatting and not passing any remarks on the reception area. Jacqueline had come in and was at the reception desk.
"Good evening. I've come to collect an appointment book."
The man looked very perturbed. He wasn't in on that part of the surprise.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what you are talking about."
"An appointment book was left here today. I was told it would be here."
The man looked all around the desk.
"I'm really sorry. There is nothing here."
Jac was beginning to get annoyed, thinking that she would miss her bingo!
Luckily Janet spotted her and went running out.
"Hi Jacqueline. I'm here with a few friends. Come in for a quick drink."
She grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the dining area.
"Janet don't be silly. I can't. I'll be late for bin.........."
Jacqueline and other sister Geraldine
A brilliant night was had by all.
Jacqueline and Mam
Happy birthday Jacqueline. Can't wait for the next one xxx
Thursday, November 18, 2010
We were doing a lesson about weird gadgets that had been invented. The children then had to come up with ideas of their own. There were some great ones like
an alarm clock that pours water on you or
one that tosses you out of bed.
S came up with my favourite
" Miss, chocolate that has no calories."
"Fantastic. Can you get working on that as quickly as possible, please!"
Then A came up with the following
"Miss. How about something that causes your bed to vibrate and that would comfort you and lull you to sleep."
Ah, bless her. I hadn't the heart to tell her that it has already been invented......yipee!
Monday, November 15, 2010
The series followed the lives of both family and servants that lived in 165 Eaton Place, London in the years 1903-1930. The head of the house was an MP, Richard Bellamy and his aristocratic wife Elizabeth . But the real ruler of the house was the butler, Mr. Hudson who kept the whole place running smoothly. He tried to guide and direct the rest of the staff about their tasks and their proper conduct....often failing miserably.
I was reminded of this programme this week, as we worked backstage on the play Viv and Tom. It is set in roughly the same era. As backstage crew we had to dress as servants.
Note: I even got a costume change! Now that's success. Obviously star quality shines through!!!!
Gwen and I looked the epitome of subservience!
But don't let that fool you. Just as the servants got up to no good when their Master wasn't around, so did we backstage when no one was looking..........
Having a wee tipple from the whiskey decanter............
Sleeping on the job........
Being "rogered" by the son of the house........
And having a quick spin in Master's wheelchair...............
If the servants had been caught they would have been fired........as would we! I hope our director doesn't read my blog or we won't be asked to do the festival circuit with them next year!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Groceries don't count, do they?
My tactic in this war against temptation is to avoid shops, simple as! I thought I had it sorted for this weekend. The school football team had reached the Primary school football final which was held on Saturday afternoon.
Sorted. I'll be on the sideline of a freezing pitch, screaming my little lungs out, far away from any nasty shops. Safe for another week.
I drove to Navan and parked my car in the multi-storied carpark.
Ok, so there were were only three stories. It was Navan after all!
I have a confession to make. I started to go up the wrong lane to the second story! Luckily I saw a car coming down so did a quick reverse manoeuvre. Oops. the sooner I get my eyes sorted out the better!
Headed off towards the pitch. Unfortunately that involved passing several enticing shops. I managed to resist most of them.....but crumbled at the last hurdle. One shop front had glittery party dresses in the window.
I'll just have a quick peek. After all I need a new Christmas frock! I'd like to go for red this year.
I looked through the railings and was thrilled that nothing caught my eye. I was heading confidently for the door when the shop assistant stopped me.
"Hello there. Are you looking for a dress for a Christmas Party?"
Say no, say no. Make your escape. Quick.
"Yes, I am actually. I was looking for a red one but I see you don't have any."
Ha ha. Gottya.
"True. But I have just got in a new collection. There is one that I think would really suit you."
She pointed to a sad little dress on a hanger. It was sooooo what I didn't want. It was a mixture of black, cream, gold and silver. Even worse. It was a sort of crinkly, scrunched material.
"Em. Not sure. Its not what I was looking for." Thank God.
Then I made the mistake. I always try to please, so I said
"Sure I'll give it a try."
I disappeared into the dressing room. I slipped it on.......and wow! It was love at first sight. And I have warmed to stretchy material. It means you can pig out on dinner and it will grow with you!
I bought it..sob! I know it looks nothing now, but wait til you see it on!!!
Headed to the pitch with my little wicked purchase in my hand. The game started. I know I'm biased, but our school team were AMAZING! They took the lead in the opening minutes and held on for the first half. I can take no credit for their training (That's Ms. Murphy!) but I did my little bit to spur them on. I sent a message to the dugout at halftime. "Listen lads. If you win, there is no homework for the next week."
I think this is a ploy that all premier managers should adopt.
They came out in the second half and they would have thrown themselves in front of a moving truck if it meant getting the ball.
We won by four goals!
I went home a very happy little bunny. A championship cup......and a new dress!!! Now that's what I call a good day.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
I am working backstage on the play Tom and Viv which is being performed by Bradán Players in Leixlip. It describes the turbulent marriage between T.S. Eliot and Vivienne Haigh-Wood.We studied the poetry of Eliot for our Leaving Cert in secondary school. I liked his work
Well, "liked" in so far as you can, when you are forced into studying something in order to pass an exam.
We were told that he was unhappily married, his wife was mentally insane and ended up in an asylum. I remember being sorry for him.
Well, not anymore.
It seems that there was a very good reason for Vivienne's strange and erratic behaviour. Good old menstrual problems. She suffered from very heavy, irregular problems and severe premenstrual tension. This resulted in mood swings, fainting spells and migraines. Her family hired the top doctors of the day, who put her on a cocktail of drugs. One of these drugs contained 90% alcohol! So, no wonder she acted bizarrely at times....she was p*****!
One of the behaviours that was used as a reason for her internment in the asylum, was the fact that she changed her bed linen twice a day and that when she stayed in hotels, she insisted in having the sheets washed herself.
Bless her, she was too embarrassed to let anyone else see them.
Eliott and her family had her put away. And there she stayed for the rest of her life. Eliot never visited her. He filed for separation, but not before he took control of all her money and trust funds.
She died of a heart attack in 1947 (though some sources claim it was an overdose). Eliot received his Nobel prize the following year.
Good Lord. Who hasn't suffered a bit of PMT in their lives? Imagine being locked away because of it!
What is the difference between a pitbull terrier and a woman with PMT?